Sunday, March 22, 2009

Cooter Scooter: Sports Edition


The obligatory sports posting. Enjoy...and suffer.

Ah, yes. It's like 1994 all over again, except that my balls have already dropped. The Houston Rockets provided some good "we're-better-than-the-Spurs" fodder when they were actually better than the Spurs Sunday. The Rox capped off an 87-85 victory with back-to-back plays that involved Yao Ming from the top of the key passing to Luis Scola for an easy deuce (because making and "taking a deuce" are two hard things). Who sits down to watch a whole NBA game? Here's the last seconds of the juicy victory. VICTORY!:



I'm not so brash about my love for my hometown team given that I live on the West Coast and everybody here is a freakin' ringer for the Lakers and Raiders (WhyTF are there so many Hispanic Raiders fans?) and I'm probably sure if somebody did read this I'd get a jail house shanking right in front of a Starbucks. But Lakers, you've been warned. My Rox are coming after that West title. Kobe what? Kobe my balls, bitch!

Wait. Do you hear that? It's the sound of pieces of paper that had brackets on them being shredded apart. 16 teams are left in the NCAA Men's Tourney. Not many big upsets except for Arizona...number freakin' 12 Arizona. A team that looked like they were going to throw that Lute Olsen good bye party a little early this week is in the Sweet Sixteen. Good news, though, I'm still in the hunt to win this office pool puppy. Bad news, I just pissed off a bunch of Lakers, Raiders, and now, Arizona fans. My life could end by the end of this post provided I don't piss off another segmented group of super fans.

Tennessee, Volunteer yo' ass out this dance immediately. As a condition to my female sensitivity class at the Learning Annex (I got your female sensitivity right here), I have to add something about the ladies' NCAA tournament. And lo and behold, something good. Pat Summitt is taking an early trip home after her number 5 Lady Vols were beat in the opening round against #12 Ball State (WTF? Wasn't there like a hippy killing there once?). I point this out because Tennessee women's basketball is a dynasty, save for Connecticut women's basketball. Oh, how the mighty have fallen. They were always dominant because they could replenish their team through recruiting. They were able to bring in Chimique Holdsclaw and fine ass Candace Parker on to the team (really? I'm actually writing something on women's basketball?) over all these years. But the Vols were only able to recruit [generic inner city basketball player with cornrows]. I figure this much would happen after the Men's varsity team would give up the ghost against freakin' OK State. You f'n kidding me?!

And, thus, ends the sports post. God, I feel icky.

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