You Know How I Know You're Gay?

John's short bottoms are two to four inches away from revealing his Mayer. (I know, corny.)

John Mayer, man, this is the last straw. I know you dated a hot chick like Jennifer Aniston and then threw her away like yesterday's tampons. But shit like this makes you and me look bad. If it weren't enough that I sang heartfelt renditions of "Your Body is a Wonderland" and "Bigger Than My Body" to a drunk chick once, you go and pull shit like this. Ridiculous. This is not forgivable. In fact, if I didn't know better, you're preparing to slap nuts with the dudes on Arenas Road during White Party Weekend. Or make a naval spectacle on Castro Street in SF.

You are freakin' unbelievable, man. Make sure you steer the boat right when you're on the S.S. Queen Mary, Heyyyy Girl! out on the water.

[Socialite Life/Splash News/Pacific Coast News Online]