"Monsters vs. Aliens" is Not What You Think

Bob is a "one-eyed monster."

This first part is devoted to the misconception of Monsters vs. Aliens, the new Dreamworks Animation flick that doesn't have Jack Black in it (f*ckin' panda). We'll start with Bob, the cute cuddly emorphous blob you see in the picture. He is one of the monsters. He has just one eye. And he can talk. No, he is not a penis. I repeat, he is not a penis that talks. Even though, when the concept of "one-eyed monster" comes up, you could easily think that Bob is a penis. Bob is not a penis, at least that's not what the trailer and the number of reviews I've read or the IMDb synopsis says. Strangely enough, Bob is voiced by Seth Rogen. Now, that guy is a penis. More like a dick. But a very relevent dick because he makes all these movies that I think are cool. He's a movie making dick, alright got it.

Also, the title Monsters vs. Aliens does not describe a face off between the creatures of the Alien vs. Predator movies. The title also does not refer to the times I have sex. Yes, my member can be referred to as the "monster", or the "predator" for that matter, while I make war with the ugly, stinky, much complicated female "alien." (Depending on how your girl likes it, the "alien" is up to your imagination.) So no, Monsters vs. Aliens does not refer to male and female genitalia, just to clear things up.

Now that we got that out of the way, Monsters vs. Aliens is a movie. Just a movie.