Salmin Rushdie, You Fail

The title should not throw you off as my personal fatwa against the acclaimed author of The Satanic Verses. But he was married to the woman licking the sauce off of her body -- sweet lustrous, glistening tan body wearing a low cut dress showing her ever supple bosom that I would love to cup and carress all mightily but with gentile affection. My God, this woman just got 10,000 times hotter.

(**15 minute break to wipe down computer table with Scotch Guard and Purell**)

Ok. As I pull my pants up, I shall give you this tidbit -- Ms. Padma Lakshmi, "acclaimed food critic," loves her some Carl's Jr. six dollar burgers. And if it weren't enough that she's not at all hard on the eyes (heh, hard on, you damn right, hard on), she definitely scored a victory for this "I'm tempting you to buy this hunk of meat while I rub it all over my hot body" campaign the fast food chain is running. Remember Paris Hilton flopping wet in a swimsuit? Well, we didn't like it because she was a whore and no one liked her.

But bravo, Ms. Lakshmi. Bravo! I should definitely put this on repeat. (I shouldn't though. I'm running out of deep penetrating 409.)