Jenny Craig does a body good...finally.
In "Defiant Acts of Revenge" news, girthy woman Valerie Bertinelli got all hot and stuff and became the cover for next week's People magazine.
Several things of note: some key things happened last week, including the AIG bonuses and Natasha Richardson's death, which got a toilet paper corner-sized part of the cover. Yet People magazine thinks this woman's weight loss and first time in a bikini in 30 years makes the whole cover?! No offense to Ms. Bertinelli, who I think was greatly Photoshopped and air brushed on the cover, but sh*t like this deserves at most two pages on pages 34 and 35 and just a small part of the cover that says something like, "Like Your Bertinelli Nonfat? Look Inside." And believe me, I know how People works. The freakin' crossword inside is hella cakewalk.
Nonetheless, not bad for a lady who will turn 49 soon. Remember how I have, let's call it, a fetish for TV actresses? I think Ms. Bertinelli just made my list. If you play your cards right, Val, you might crack the top 50 leap-frogging Angela Lansbury and Betty White. Heh? Heh? (**eye brows going up and down repeatedly, with shit-eating grin**)
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