I wonder how he masturbates. Yes, I'm concerned for the little guy.So those bastards at the Modesto Bee in Northern California ran a short blurb on its upcoming festival for, um, testicles. A whole town is participating in it, which is dubbed the Testicle Festival (creative, yay). And if it weren't enough that the town of Oakdale is devoting a whole day to the thing, the freakin' Modesto Bee thinks they can make the facts absurdly hysterical. Damn, Modesto Bee!
The fundraising idea may seem a little nuts, but Oakdale's annual Testicle Festival is always a big hit. On Monday, volunteers with the town's Rotary Club plan to fry up 400 pounds of the private parts of bulls and serve them to diners who pay $50 apiece for the sit-down meal.No ball or testicle puns or epitaphs on my part. Considering I still have mine and a bunch of male cows had theirs removed just to feed a whole town of sick sadistic gourmets just says anybody will/could eat anything. See, my balls are shaking now because they're scared. Don't worry fellas. Nobody's gonna take me away from you. I do wonder, though. How would my balls taste in a connoisseurs mouth. I have no basis for comparison or what not but in the right context, my balls will taste delicious! (Um, ew!)The event, whose proceeds also benefit the Oakland Cowboy Museum, has drawn an average of 450 people and last year raised $28,000.
It's common practice on cattle ranches for young male bovines to be castrated into steers, which after the initial loss, eventually makes them more docile and easier to handle. Fans of the delicacy, also referred to as "mountain oysters," come from around the state.
According to Rotarians, everyone who buys a ticket is guaranteed to "have a ball." [Modesto Bee/AP]
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