Sunday, May 24, 2009

How to Take a Shower...Like a Douchebag

R u effin' kidding me? So Hulu has become my replacement television set since I've gone with out the maximum cable package possible and I will be moving into a house that will have the "expanded" basic cable option. I mean, my God, people! How else am I gonna watch new True Blood and Entourage episodes and make mean and demoralizing comments about how Anna Paquin looks like a palsy patient or how Adrian Grenier still looks like a tool in an instant?

I digress. Hulu now expects you to take a shower "the suggested way" as if you have an effin' sauna or rosemary oil just lying around the house. Whatever happened to washing the hate from your body ever so vigorously that you're starting to bleed black? Or curling up in the fetal position like a bad dramatic movie cliche?

Obviously, this "how to" video on showering wants you to take the much more complicated way because nothing says smooth elasticity than loofahing layers of your skin. We aging, people! We gonna lose whatever young skin we have anyways! It's like this video is addressing a great concern on the social conscience.

The only redemption to this shower is the hot blonde taking it. (I think I saw her right titty.) If only other how to videos (or my real life) had hot steamy blonde women taking showers...constantly. Life would be so awesome.

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