When Did E! Start Un-Blurring Boobs?

(via WWTDD) Kendra's wedding gift to us. Boobs.

So as to not confuse you, I am a man who loves boobies. Boobies on women. And just like a veteran wine taster, I like a particular set of boobs. I'm cool with any other boobs, they just can't be awkward looking. Besides, I've noticed even the small boobs can create cleavage, and if that's the cleavage you have, then you have me...you just have me.

With that said, Kendra Wilkinson (aka the youngest bimbo of Hef's former gals) apparently showed off the chest ornaments and it totally got unblurred on E!, which last time I checked was a tv network on basic cable, not premium cable. E! also offered a look at Denise Richards' chest cannons on her show. Apparently, she got her implanted wild things shortly before shooting Wild Things. What I'm getting at is WhenTF did E! start showing titties. Apparently, we've gone to the point of tastelessness that we got exposed, uninhibited mounds in our faces. I'm griping because this type of shit could have been done a long time ago. Gosh!

Here's the NSFW tit pic collection from Kendra.

Buehrle = Perfection

(via With Leather) Only inches separated a free dinner by the pitcher and a reaming from Ozzie Guillen.

Ok. This week of blogs appears to be sports-dominated. Of course, I'm non-discriminate when it comes to chosing which category I choose my entries. I am discriminate, though, on which underwear I wear each day. I can't soil the good ones right away.

Ok. Bad start. But look! A perfect game. But, dude, it's just baseball. WTF is the big deal? Well, Idiot, a perfect game is the nerd world's version of a comet passing earth or an eclipse darkening and freaking the f*ck out a few million people in the Eastern Hemisphere. When it happens, you should take notice. Yeah, yeah, you hate sports? Then, shut the f*ck up until my next Heidi and Spencer post.

For the rest of you, you cannot help but appreciate what happened...at a day game of all situations. Buehrle's perfect game against the Rays truly affixes the word "professional" to ball player. Too bad the same couldn't be said about the Rays batting order.

Anyways, here's one of the most spectacular catches of the year when Sox OF Dewayne Wise preserved the perfect game with a great grab in the ninth:

Oh. So Melrose Place Dictates My Life Now, Does It?

So the TV show that nobody wanted made its impending return that much unbearable with a new set of teaser posters and their crazy ass catchphrases. (I know he's dead, but big middle fingers to Aaron Spelling for Melrose Place and 90210.) Of course, leave it to the CW to create posters that may get some people looking...and pondering about the complexities of life...or at the very least, ponder about suicide. Remember the OMFG Gossip Girl posters? Yeah, me neither. But somebody decided to make a big stink about that one because of the F in the campaign. And by F, it meant fugtacular. As in, "my God, this Melrose Place resurrection has awfully fugtacular people in it. I mean, look at Ashlee Simpson!"

If you need a demonstration of how desperate the CW is getting, here's the teaser for Melrose Place:

Click here for the rest of the posters. It's a good thing Hump Day changes for me now. I can expecte to change my sheets on Wednesday.

The Dunk That Made Him 'LeBitch'

So the only surviving video of the infamous LeBron-gets-dunked-on incident survived the Nike abortion and found life on the internet. TMZ and ebaumnation.com made headway with the much sought after tape.

To quickly fill you in, Lebron James was hosting a basketball camp in Ohio, inviting two dozen college players. Lebron decided to take part in a pickup game and, during that game, a 20-year-old Xavier University sophomore named Jordan Crawford took the rock to the hole and dunked over Lebron.

In a snap moment of embarrassment, Nike, Lebron James' shoe sponsor, quickly snatched any video tape that captured the moment out of fear of a poor rep.

So here we are now with the tape which basically is underwhelming and not really lives up to the hype and bickering of it all in the previous weeks. But dammit, if this doesn't cause things this season. If I were Jordan Crawford, I would hide. Lebron has money. Nike is a big corporation. And if any single entity were to take Lebron, who, along with Kobe Bryant, is Nike's money men, down a peg, then we could see Crawford's life and rep take a turn for the worse. It's funny too. I could see "Nike henchman" turn Crawford's life into crap. Oh well, at least his name is out there...for the obituaries to know who he is.

Youth: 'The Defication of Imbecility'

And with just an unlauded step in front of the camera, a Scottish entertainer bloke began a unitribe that could resonate with me for a while. Craig Ferguson opened The Late Late Show Tuesday night with him figuring out "why everything sucks." Watch. Listen. Learn.

That Pesky Erin Andrews Video

Yeah. The shirt's in the way. I get it.

Hey, dude! Did you hear about that leaked video of Erin Andrews nude? No WAY!

Yes, I am joining the fray in mention Ms. Andrews in her birthday suit doing stuff that thin, well-spoken blondes do in their hotel room. No, I don't have the video or the pics. And apparently, if you track a copy down, its embedded with malware. So all that effort to jerk off to grainy video of a peeping tom camera shot of a woman...and I do mean...A woman will be all for naught when the virus is on your computer.

Anyways, the whole fracas over the video has ESPN and Erin angry and they want answers immediately. Thank God for TMZ, though. They think they have this one answered, including who it might be rolling the camera -- someone she knows?? (For the record, 'twas not me. I was stalking my redheaded neighbor that time.)

TMZ has reviewed six videos shot by the peeping Tom who secretly videotaped Erin Andrews in her hotel room as the ESPN reporter walked around naked, not having a clue she was being watched ... and there are signs the person who taped it may be connected with the coverage of athletic events.

Four of the clips were shot in the same hotel. The remaining two were shot in a different hotel. In the first hotel, the peephole is round. In the second hotel, the peephole is jagged. The furniture in the two hotel rooms is completely different. In the first set of videos, Erin is naked, curling her hair while looking into a mirror. It appears all four clips are from the same video. In the second set of clips, Erin is also naked, ironing a pair of pants.

The videos raise the suspicion that the person who shot them may have been familiar with her work schedule and may have been traveling with her. Erin's people are on the hunt for the culprit.

So to sum it up, Erin got naked in the privacy of her own room with the understanding and presumability that she could, even to the point of ironing her own pants (hot!). But then again, it just seems too contrived of a story for real life. Didn't we see this with Quaqmire on some God-forsaken episode of Family Guy. Anyways, talk of naked ladies has got me all hot. I think, I'll go to Hollywood and find me a hooker that looks exactly like Erin Andrews. Peeping tom? PEEP THIS, HOOKER WHO LOOKS LIKE ERIN ANDREWS.

Woman: Roethlisberger Went Ruthless On My Burger

Pictured lady not the accuser. But she could have been.

First, I must apologize for the title of this post. I guess puns are society's verbal tampon when you want to pad the heavy metaphorical bleeding of your witty and relevant banter. So, again, apologies all from me.

So Ben Roethlisberger is a dick. Or that's at least what my friend Josh says. Basically, Ben and his mid-major college graduating ass didn't want to pay for a tab at my friend's bar. And there was a bunch of bickering from Ben ranging from "Do you know who I am?" to "I won a Super Bowl!" My friend responds, "I know who you are. That's still $55." The motherf*cker makes millions and can't settle a simple $50 tab?

Anecdotes aside, Ben was accused today for sexual assault. How's that for karma, you bitch Roethlisberger! Anyways, TMZ has the story:

Andrea McNulty claims in her civil lawsuit filed in Washoe County, Nevada, this year's Super Bowl winner asked her to come to his hotel room in July, 2008 -- and then forced her to have sex with him.

McNulty -- an employee at the Harrah's Hotel in Lake Tahoe -- is suing for sexual assault and battery, false imprisonment and infliction of emotional distress.

Just to clear things up for you, people, he went to Miami of Ohio, not the other Miami where all shit gets wild. You know what I mean. If I didn't know better, I would think he's a Duke lacrosse player.

Holy F*ckin' Gaga!

I haven't really found the topic or the voice to write/verbalize about the crap going on in craptacular crapdom. But, hey, look! It's Lady Gaga being weird again.

Well, not necessarily acting weird but, by God, I can't take this bitch seriously when she starts wearing Kermit the Frogs as a pancho. Yes, those are dolls on her but to think this might inspire her to put on a pelt of Rolf the Hound Dog or Gonzo as a crotch piece. Oh, yeah, she's still ugly as sin.

This is So True

Video Games - E3 2009 - Attack of the Show

I'm probably sending the wrong message about this blog and what I write about it. I say this because this is the third or fourth or fifth (lost count) time I posted something related to Olivia Munn. She is hot and funny. There's no doubt about. She's partially the reason I want digital cable so bad. (The other reason being all that crazy faux HBO/Showtime/Cinemax "porno" they show late at night.)

I digress. The real reason for this posting is Munn's appearance for a video called "The Girl at the Video Game Store" by Parry Gripp. This is actually true. Every lyric of this is true. And other burnouts like me can attest to walking into Gamestop or EB Games and seeing the toking girl working there. Yet the girl that works there is either extremely fat and ugly or extremely hot. And when you encounter the extremely hot ones, they p0wn you on everything involving video games. Maybe that's why I never got into video games. Just to knowing barely anything and being felt inferior makes me sensitive. That and I can't freely admit that Pokemon on Nintendo Anything is the best video game ever.

Oh, Ron Ron

Don't you find it funny that when there's unique basketball players out there, they can have a unique nickname. LeBron=Bron Bron. Shaq=Big Aristotle Big Cactus Big Freeze? Then, you have Ron Artest who, depending on how you see him, can be Ron Ron -- the guy who is passionate about the team he plays for (to an extent) and his "hood" -- or that thug n***a who started that big fight with a bunch of fans in Detroit and basically put a black eye on professional sports and connecting athletes with fans.

This past season, I subscribed to the Ron Ron side of things being that he was integral in Houston's rise from the Southwest Division cellar. In fact, I thought he could be a leader rather than someone who could win a championship on the coat tails of a superstar. In small little words, we f*cked, y'all. No Yao for the season and possibly the rest of his career. No superstar presence in the starting five. An ineffective Tracy McGrady since 2004. We were the darlings of the whole Western Conference when we took the Lakers to the brink in the Second Round. Now we're looking at NBA purgatory for the next 3-6 seasons. Believe me, I hung all my hope on Artest being the saving grace of a whole city. Instead, he'll be sipping Moet with Luke Walton and Adam Morrison at the W after a hard fought win against the Clippers.

Don't get me started on Trevor Ariza also. In order for Houston to get a sniff of the playoff drawls, Ariza and Aaron Brooks will have to become superstars this seasons. I wonder what we can give up for Zydrunas Ilgauskas. Somebody up in Cleveland took his job already.

Guess Who

[AP via TMZ] Something tells me the man in that casket will sell you on a clean, moral Christian life. OxiClean, ni**a!

WARNING: Vomit About

I am on the verge of vomiting at this point. But I felt it wouldn't be American of me to take three sake bombs and down three Coronas. So, I bring to you the best compliation of vomiting I could find without playing the rest of the video. Now if you excuse me, I'm going to think of something that can induce the chewy chunks out of me. Maybe this.

HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY!!!

17 Rich Saps and a Little Whore

Megan Wants A Millionaire. Hm. I'm totally unaware of the affect of the center of the show, Megan Hauserman. But apparently, she had a quite an impression on the many clap-trap VH1 shows that they have on.

Apparently, she chased after the affection of Bret Michaels in the first Rock of Love. She engaged in fisticuffs and a got a drink thrown in her face be Sharon Osbourne on Charm School 2. She even tried going for cash in the second I Love Money.

So, in the long tradition of miniscule VH1 reality stars that got famous for their classiness, Megan will get the ultimate in self-indulgance, a reality dating show about her whoring around with apparent millionaires who don't know what to do with their money so the only thing they can do is spend it on vapid women like her. Anyways, whatever gets you paid at the end. Yeah, we got a bad economy.

Goddamn It! That's Not How You Do It

I'm playing Insomniac Jack at the moment and I swear to the Lord that if this smudge on my glasses doesn't go away in the next hour, I will kill the next thing moving.

Ok, only fibbing. But, hey! Look! It's Olivia Munn. Any reason to post Olivia Munn pics or videos of her baring something works anytime for me. She's too damn funny to ignore and too damn hot to...um...ignore. (Vocabulary and grammar aren't exactly working for me at this time. Hey, it was my birthday just hours ago. I have the right to fuck up. It's like being born again and again and again. Fuck me...)

Truffle shuffle away, my dear!