Comic Book Movie Rumors Alive!

Seven. Minute. Abs!

Whoever came up with the idea to use comic books as a movie industry business model must have been one big wanker. It just seems if you think up of an obscure or rarely used comic book character, we can make a movie about that mutant and/or superhero. Out of this, we got Blade, Iron Man, Hulk, Ghost Rider, The Punisher, Spawn. I'm definitely not undervaluing the reach of these characters as far as fandom is concerned but what will be made next? A Black Vulcan movie with Todd Bridges in the lead? How about an "origins" flick on Solomon Grundy? No. No Super Friends movie either? God, you're no fun.

Speaking of wankers, the big wigs at Fox and Warners might have their guys for their respective comic book projects. Essentially, Fox wants to make a Wolverine spin-off with Ryan Reynolds' chracter Deadpool as the main character, according to Variety, and Warners apparently added Bradley Cooper (you know, that guy in those movies you always see but can't identify...shit, IDK) to the big pool of candidates for that Green Lantern wank-fest, according to Hitfix. (I'm really tired and hungover. I've tuned out of this post entirely.)

Bottom line is, if I hear once more how Deadpool wasn't emphasized in the Wolverine movie, I'm going to get knifes and forks of my own, tie them around my hands, and start going to town on every woman and child I see walking down the street. Or expose myself. Whichever seems more traumatic. Yes, the drapes match my pubes.