Cooter Shooter: OY! **Slaps Hand to Forehead**

NOTICE...or REMINDER: "Cooter Shooter" is a list of links/stories I have taken from other places. It's virtually theft until I lick it. You know, like little kids marking territory. IT'S MINE!

Even with an international outbreak of potential pandemic implications, Heidi and Spencer still manage to find their way into newsworthyness.

The Hills newlyweds rocked it Michael Jackson-surgical mask style in Cabo on their honeymoon in the midst of the swine flu epidemic, thus, creating the most useless news story that people are giving two craps about. I weep for the future.

Why am I giving a crap? I thought it was amazing to see a rare sight: two whores in surgical masks. Actually, I've seen that before...the porn parody of Scrubs. [TMZ has more]

Hm. Curly hair, scruffy dude with blonde in a club? Why couldn't I think of that?

I'm a Judd Apatow disciple. Not a hardcore one, you know, to the point where you've seen every episode of Freaks and Geeks and Undeclared and you can recite the lines to those shows just as the characters say them. You know, in fact, I have not seen one episode of those shows. Maybe I'm not big an Apatow-phile as I think I am.

Anyways, focusing on Apatow's directed-written-produced movies, the folks at College Humor wrote a song and shot a music video exhibiting the recurring theme of a shlubby everyman scoring the hot girl, thus, marking my day with fantasy, me being a real shlubby guy, of all things.

Let's just file this under the "false hope" category. (BTW, the female in this video's got that Lindsay Sloan cuteness goin' on).

Eds. Note: Freakin' embed player is acting "hooterific." Link is here.

Sean Hannity thinks Kim K. is a role model. Did I mention she took the magic stick on camera?

In today's WhyTF Am I Mentioning This news, Fox News' Sean Hannity equated Kim Kardashian, who was a guest on his aptly named program Hannity, to a "role model for girls." (?!)

Yes, a role model. That Kim Kardashian.

Nelson Mandela is a role model. The Pope, despite the Church's problems, is a role model. Oprah is a role model.

Kim Kardashian is an amateur pornographer and divorcee who got famous for associating with other people who got famous just for walking and putting on pouty faces, who also has O.J. Simpson as a godfather. Role model? Yeah, if it's for growing a big ass and lovin' the blacks in a totally not racial-equality type of way.