Cooter Shooter: Michigan St. is Kinda Alright (3/30 Links)

It's Monday and that means I automatically hate you. You dick!


The Big Ten got some Big Boobies. Yes, I said it.

• Michigan St. Shows Its "Spirit" - Um. So boobs. And boobs. And there's some asses there. But there's like boobs. Need I say more? GO SPARTANS! [Gunaxin]
• 2009 National Douchebag Tournament - We're in the final four of this one, people. Barry Bonds. Octomom. Bernie Madoff. Rush Limbaugh. All deserving. All great examples of douchebaggery. Kinda curious, though, that Jimmy Fallon didn't make it. [Holy Taco]
• Best 11 Cat Puking Videos - Feline regurgitation. Way better than obese gentleman regurgitation. And maybe more functional than canine regurgitation. Any way, there's sure to be a hella big clean up involved. [Best Week Ever]
• Tom Brady's Ball and Chain...Naked - A Michigan kid crosses paths with a Brazilian supermodel who has a penchant for nudity. If only history writes something like "single journalist who hates himself catches the eye of blonde with D-cups who tells him 'to put it anywhere...just anywhere she can feel' because of his humorous, intelligent blog." Ah, yes. Because bitches love intelligence and quirkiness. I'm sure of it. [Tasty Booze]
  
• Rourke and Rockwell's Iron Man 2 Looks - Sam Rockwell does his best impersonation of Steve Allen (he was the former host of The Tonight Show...before Johnny Carson...wow, I can't believe I'm in my 20s and I know who exactly Steve Allen is). As for Mickey Rourke, he's...um...just Mickey Rourke. [Bam! Kapow!]
• 'Bruno' Draws NC-17 Rating - Do we expect anything less from Borat himself? So how did Sasha Baron Cohen outdo himself? Simulated anal sex, of course. [The Wrap]
  

Cooter Shooter: Links for 3/24

I can't have you pick my brain all the time. Pick somebody else's.

"Don't judge me," Kinky Kelly said.

• Teen's Giant Penis Shocks Parents - Reading the title alone invokes thoughts of pride on the parents' behalf. But it's a downer. (Heh. downer.) [Asylum]
• Dee D. Jackson...or Is it D. Dee Jackson? - The crack staff at Best Week Ever dug up this one-hit wonder from the 70's whose best single spawned two acid-trippy videos and an imposter in Brazil. And they found this crap cool back in the 70's? [Best Week Ever]
• You Entourage Lovin' Muthaf*cka - So Vinnie Chase aka Adrian Grenier has a different look to him. No, he didn't get a haircut. Yes, he did go back to the buffet line for seconds. [Tyler Durden]
• 100 Movies to See Before You Die - Please. This list should be expanded to include hits like Pirates and Space Nuts and Debbie Does Dallas and Debbie Does Dallas...Again and Oh My God! My Ass is On Fire 12. [Yahoo! Movies]
• The Complex Guide to Cheating - I'm a fairly respectable and loving guy. I'm very cordial to the lady friends that I have. With that said, f*ck, I wish I had a girlfriend to cheat on. Oh, lonely life. [Complex]
• Finally...A Pair of March Madness Brackets - Whether or not you like the NCAA tourney, you are still covered by parody brackets across the interwebs. First, Best Week Ever has 90's Movie Madness. Simple enough. The last and definitely least, depending on what kind of sickness you have, is the Nasty Fetish Final Four from With Leather and Kissing Suzy Kolber. Reading the bracket alone makes you feel icky enough. I mean, are any of these things real? Emetophilia? Appotemnaphilia? Agalmatophilia?