If There Was One Reason to Twitter...

I've found the micro-blogging phenomenon known as Twitter as a passing fad that should lose steam soon, or something that could use as much needed publicity as televised Chinese executions. And the part of telling your whole day to a network of people you don't know kinda throws the privacy card out the window. Then again, you're crazy enough to put that stuff out there. Count me in for a stalking!

You can't deny, though, the small gems you can get from Tweeting...Twerking?...Twatting? Not so sure of the lingo.

Hey, speaking of Twatting, a whole slew of hot chicks, some you may know, some you may not know, are getting showcased on a website. Hot Chicks That Tweet (should it be Hot Chicks WHO Tweet. English, people!) is that site. Get a rundown of actress, models, and porn actresses who tell you whether they are playing with their electric bunny or electrocuting a bunny.

Horray for Twitter?

OK, John Mayer is Cool Again

I've posted my disapproval of John Mayer previously on The Cooter. (Hm, John Mayer associates with "cooters" all to well. He is one and yet he can still attract it.) But something funny happened during my drug induced vieweing of Thursday's Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien. Mayer got his own band and several choir kids to cover The Mamas and The Papas' "California Dreamin'."

And it was awesome. Ok, dude. You get back one man card. But don't let me catch you wear those man shorts again acting like you can get away singing queer songs and dating and dumping hot courgar messes. So what it's a cover. It was a cover done well.

In Conan News...

Funny thing happened to the new Tonight Show set...

We're three Tonight Shows in, and I think Conan is eradicating the suck that used to fill up the 11:30 p.m. time slot. In three quick shows, we've learned the impact of Choco Tacos, Conan's new nickname (Coco) which he has since not wanted, striking glimpse into the year 3000, and Max Weinberg's alledged perversions.

All in all, this is the type of nerd humor I've wanted to share with everybody, and thanks to an equally nerdy man in Conan, I'm glad that type of humor is getting a forefront stance on popular culture.

By the way, that same nerdy humor has been applied to the new Conan monologue backdrop, which indeed does remind me of the Arsenio Hall Show backdrop. Anyways, Serious Lunch contends that the background is essentially levels in the Mario Bros. games. As a self-depricating geek, I say niiiiiice.

Bill Actually Killed

David Carradine hung himself today. Well, that's what initial reports say about his death inside his "luxury hotel suite" in Thailand. Can't really bother with semantics with something like this, but, yeah, the man is dead.

Anyways, the 72-year-old actor and bald badass from the Kung Fu television series is a cult icon. Yeah, he died so I have to use "was" instead of "is." But you can't deny the badassery seen in his TV and movie stints. And to think it ironic that the titular Bill from the Kill Bill movies actually died kinda points to one thing. Let's look for Uma Thurman and get to the bottom of this, now! I don't care if she has to get through an army of masked dudes in suits controlled by Lucy Liu. We must avenge Bill's death!

Yeah, Kobe. Tell Her Why Her Ass Bled

I guess it's fitting to post this God-awful parody video of Kobe Bryant's supposed "Colorado date rape victim" freestyling about that night "her bowels" were changed. Kobe's quest for a fourth ring begins tomorrow.

Aside from that, though, the white chick in this video does her worst to replicate the "Kobe, tell me how my ass taste" freestyle that Shaq did. I have no other words except this was maybe in bad taste, no pun intended at all.

Here's the Shaq vid, if you need a reminder:

I Was There and You Weren't. Nah Nah Nah Nah Boo Boo

My golden ticket to a ginger pale tree's historical show.

There was so much to say about Conan O'Brien's first ever foray in the 11:30 p.m. time slot on NBC. Watching it in the comfort of your living room is one thing. But when you get the opportunity to see it up close and live before your very eyes, even to the point that you can probably hock a loogi and spit on Conan's face, you know it's something especially special.

With that said, seeing the first ever Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien live will be a highlight to me. To be sappy and queer and whatnot, Conan my comedic inspiration. And I couldn't have devoted enough time to staying up at 12:30 a.m. on a school night to catch him or his patented characters like the Masturbating Bear. The gravity of O'Brien hosting an illustrious talk show franchise such as The Tonight Show is pretty big.

So with that said, I will bulletpoint my observances from an audience members point of view:

• The line outside apparently started as early 7 a.m. My crew arrived just about 10:30 a.m. We were about 40 people in. By showtime at 5 p.m., the line grew to 380 people. Conan's debut was a big deal.
• It was cute to see this 40 year old woman get all so giddy to see Conan. She couldn't stop repeating herself. She had a creepy Pearl Jam tattoo on her ankle, though.
• You knew how special this was when the periodical lines to the bathroom reached 50 people deep.
• The studio is freakin' huge! And the background of LA behind Conan's desk is like a hologram.

• The average age of the studio audience had to be 30. This is definitely not Jay Leno's show anymore. I'm glad the 20-something hipster generation made it out.
• I got a free hat! Yay!
• The Tonight Show Band (previously known as the Max Weinberg 7) comes out. La Bamba, the black bass player, and the bald fat trumpeter are there. And the bald trumpeter hypes up the crowd with a nice number.
• Andy Richter! That dude is a pretty big dude. And considering he had two sitcoms of his own, him hooking up with Conan again just feels so right.
• It was fitting to open with Conan trekking across America. He did go from a cult late night show to a TV institution. He just had the travel that long to make it.
• CONAN! Dude is a tree. Like a tree with red leaves. Standing ovation goes on for at least 1 minute.
• Through the monologue and the desk segment, you could tell the material felt like a typical Tonight Show. It just has Conan's brand of humor in it. Again, this will definitely not be your father's Tonight Show.
• Will Ferrell. Carried by slave dudes with ripped abs. Eh. I was hoping for him to do the speedo leprachaun he used to do on Late Night.
• Robert Smigel meandered around the studio. It's weird to see him not insult a bunch of nerds with his Triumph puppet.
• You can tell the crew was anxious to put on a good show. It was the first one after all but it went swimmingly well.
• Pearl Jam. I know only two or three songs of theirs but the band rocked. And to think I was only 7 years old when "Jeremy" came out.
• Sarah Silverman is in the building. She tries to rush through the aisle to get a good glimpse of Pearl Jam. I guess that's a way to not attract attention I guess.
• Show ends but Conan pulls a trick play with a second Pearl Jam performance. "Rockin' in the Free World" was the encore song. Excellent job by the band.
• Overall, the show was a "Tonight Show" type of program with the usual safe-for-the-family humor. But expect Conan and crew to get more comfortable in the 11:30 slot. Who knows, we might get the Masturbating Bear on Episode 2.

Watch the first Tonight Show with Conan:

Eminem Got a Face Full of Bleached Ass

Bruno v eminem
by workprint

Who knew if this "errant" fly in by Bruno (Sasha Baron Cohen) at last night's MTV Movie Awars was fixed. But I found it rather suspicious that they landed Bruno perfectly in position for Eminem to get a face full of bleached butthole. You be the judge.