Now Presenting...What I Do in My Spare Time

VIMBY - Air Sex

And believe me, I have a whole lotta spare time. What with all the crazy O-faces I can make alone without the assistance of a spotter or a ravenous pet.

Anyways, these people in the video are participating in what I can only describe as a typical weeknight for them. It's an "air sex" competition. You know, sorta like air guitar competitions except more imagination and less shame. Simple enough, these people are showing how they get their rocks off without stripping off their clothes. From the initial view, you can say they are having one "sexy time." But on a second view, it's just a bunch of white dudes and gals, many of whom are fugly as fug, flopping around on a stage like fish on a boat.

Yeah, Kobe. Tell Her Why Her Ass Bled

I guess it's fitting to post this God-awful parody video of Kobe Bryant's supposed "Colorado date rape victim" freestyling about that night "her bowels" were changed. Kobe's quest for a fourth ring begins tomorrow.

Aside from that, though, the white chick in this video does her worst to replicate the "Kobe, tell me how my ass taste" freestyle that Shaq did. I have no other words except this was maybe in bad taste, no pun intended at all.

Here's the Shaq vid, if you need a reminder:

This So Doesn't Look Right

Um. Spock, Silar. Whatever your name is. Zachary Quinto, I guess. What's with the intense "milk shower"? [Film Drunk via TiFaux]

How to Take a Shower...Like a Douchebag

R u effin' kidding me? So Hulu has become my replacement television set since I've gone with out the maximum cable package possible and I will be moving into a house that will have the "expanded" basic cable option. I mean, my God, people! How else am I gonna watch new True Blood and Entourage episodes and make mean and demoralizing comments about how Anna Paquin looks like a palsy patient or how Adrian Grenier still looks like a tool in an instant?

I digress. Hulu now expects you to take a shower "the suggested way" as if you have an effin' sauna or rosemary oil just lying around the house. Whatever happened to washing the hate from your body ever so vigorously that you're starting to bleed black? Or curling up in the fetal position like a bad dramatic movie cliche?

Obviously, this "how to" video on showering wants you to take the much more complicated way because nothing says smooth elasticity than loofahing layers of your skin. We aging, people! We gonna lose whatever young skin we have anyways! It's like this video is addressing a great concern on the social conscience.

The only redemption to this shower is the hot blonde taking it. (I think I saw her right titty.) If only other how to videos (or my real life) had hot steamy blonde women taking showers...constantly. Life would be so awesome.