This Had a Lot of Potential...

That Miss Teen USA chick and that chick from 90210. No, the OTHER chick from 90210.

The possibilities are endless when you are presented a single image of two naked women and the lone dude behind the camera, of whom is also naked. Then, you're let down because the situation of two naked women, one of them your wife, the other some random chick you happen to know, and you, yourself, naked does not equate to sex on camera, which pretty much eliminates the purpose of having a camera on when all parties involved are in their birthday suits.

Alas, you have the situation involving Grey's Anatomy actor Eric Dane and his wife Rebecca Gayheart, who hasn't been on a good project since, I don't know, Jawbreaker? And the former Miss Teen USA and admitted sex addict Kari Anne Paniche. All of whom appeared naked in a 12-minute video leaked online today. (You know what else leaks online? R. Kelly. Sick son of a bitch.) As with anything as sensitive and revealing as this (see Vanessa Hudgens, Ashley Greene), publicists for the involved parties (listen to me, I'm all into this legalese shit) say it was nothing other than "concensual" nakedness on camera and "no sex" was made. Although, you might have to admit, sex has been made in all of this, and if that's so, Rebecca Gayheart is probably one cool chick to involve Miss Teen USA in a three-way with her husband.

Bottom line, this "concensual" video looked like a sex tape, smelled like a sex tape, and even tasted like a sex tape. In all the sleaziness in my body, I'm very dissappointed when this wasn't a sex tape. How am I able to "pull the chain" with a tape of Rebecca Gayheart and Miss Teen USA just being naked without the fornication?

[Editor's Note: Ew. I don't do that. I do that only with established pros. Click, Open, Video file of Boner Jams '03]