HTF Does a Blogger Become the News?

So apparently the "Queen of All Media" Perez Hilton got "assaulted" in Toronto over the weekend. The kicker of the assault apparently was who he accused of the hit -- Will.i.am of the Black Eyed Peas [TMZ has the story].

Here's an obvious double-edged sword about this. First, it's Perez Hilton. He seems like an alright guy from a relevant sense of notoriety. Despite his poorly constructed MS Paints of penii on certain celebrity faces, he just seems to keep his lispy mouth into things that shouldn't necessitate him to be.

And then you have the Black Eyed Peas, who I loved back in 1998 when they started that conscious hip-hop movement, incorporating the talents from different racial backgrounds into the fold. You know, something like a modern day rap equivalent to Prince's crew. Then, 2002 hit and they wanted relevancy badly. And you could tell when they decided to add the pop chick to the group. And suddenly, an L.A. hip-hop group that no one knew is suddenly on the mainstream, with pop records playing at every prom, graduation party, and marriage reception. Boo on that!

So, in summation, I could care less about this incident. I just want to make the point that if I started pandering and just starting shit out of thin air, I would put a little more class and little less slut to the occasion. Speaking of, I'm calling out the yellow Wiggle. That muthaf*cka is totally queer.

WTF is 'Opposite Marriage'?

I hate beauty pageants with a passion. And I do not dare post anything emphasizing the fact that pageants are essentially a glorified herding of blondes and your occasional black version of Barbie. But check it out, Miss California is creating a shit storm.

There are some points to this whole question and answer massacre between Miss Cali-Cali and Miss Perez Hilton. Ms. Carrie Prejean did stick to her guns about her stance on gay (opposite?) marriage. The hitch, though, was that that was how her family brought her up, according to that very contrived verbal diarrhea. (Good God!) And, apparently, we live in a country where we can decide on "opposite" marriage despite the fact that Miss Hilton did say four states have legalized that kind of marriage.

[Perez Hilton has more on the pageant shit storm on his blog. Enjoy all the MS Paint edits of pictures with crudely created penii.]

Ah. Judges asking questions to deer essentially staring at headlights pageant contestants have to be the best part of these nationally televised herdings. How will we be able to start a fervor over shit like Miss California's response and this little blonde headed cutie's reply to finding things on a map?

Gotta love ultra-superficial estrogenic incoherency!